I am truly in awe of the people who can write regularly or challenge themselves to write every day and succeed. It takes a lot of creativity, imagination and dedication to come up with a write-up worth sharing on a regular basis. My last post on the blog was almost a fortnight ago and that too was just a random thought while a proper post happened sometime in the end of April. In contrast to the past couple years of existence of this blog, I noticed only a measly two posts this May, the month which has always been the most active in the past, and even those two were nothing to write home about. Seems like my brain too has gone into the summer break mode. The school reopens today but the mind is still snoozed and is acting like a wayward child just not willing to come out of its hibernation.
It is not that I have run out of ideas. The ideas keep coming like the waves and constantly hit the shores that is the convolutions of my brain but then they ebb away with equal consistency. Those that stay make their way to the drafts. As of now there are five drafts under the ‘write’ section. Hope this doesn’t become the sixth! My problem with being unable to write is that
1. I really have nothing to say at times.
2. Sometimes there’s so much to say that it feels like having a heap of alphabets with me and yet unable to make anything sensible out of it, not because I don’t know how to but because I have so many words and sentences in my head that I don’t know where to start and undecided as to what to keep and what to leave.
3. I am not satisfied with the final outcome and don’t feel it’s worth a share. I would have had a room strewn with crumpled balls if I were still the writer who wrote on paper with a nice fountain pen. I am glad that at least I am not wasting paper and am contributing in saving much needed natural resources.
Shubham’s counter question to whenever I make a fuss about being unable to write is, “Who do you write for?/ who is questioning you if you don’t write?” Agreed! I write for myself and no one questions if I don’t write anything but then there are people I am answerable to even if they don’t question me. I have observed that there are some people who visit the blog daily and go away after checking the home page. Now in the era of anonymity and VPNs, I cannot be very sure but there is someone who keeps showing from Germany, another from the US and also from Finland whom I have noticed to be the frequent visitors on the blog. I feel answerable to these people when I don’t write and I am truly grateful to them not only for their regular visit but also for patiently expecting something worth a read on the blog.
There’s nothing to write not because nothing is happening in and around my life. Actually, a lot is happening and I really appreciate the presence of the people who make my life feel like a blessing but as of now I am stuck, the keys are stuck, the thoughts are hitting a block and I face the inability to write. Is this what one calls the writer’s block? Can’t be sure since I do not see myself as a ‘writer’ material but whatever….. seems some more time needs to pass till I get my groove back or should it be ink?
What do you think…?