Recently someone said to me, ” Ma’am! I always look forward to talking to you because you make it look like all’s well with the world and there’s so much to look forward to.” This conversation happened sometime last week when I was going through a rough patch. Now how do you tell a 20 something fellow with big dreams and a zest for life that life sucks and there are times when there’s nothing to look forward to.
India is in an unenviable second position regarding the surge in covid cases in the second wave, Germany lost a World Cup Football qualifier in twenty years, Jack Ma’s Alibaba is slapped a $2.8bn fine by China, but more than this almost everyone has at least one personal story of loss, tragedy, pain in today’s unprecedented time. Some have lost jobs, others have tested positive, are battling pay cuts or non-payments, and many have lost near and dear ones. One cannot help but feel dejected and question the unfairness of life.
Yes, life in unfair and no matter how much one philosophises about life or reads self-help books the happiness within is rare for majority of us. Simply because we are social animals and people’s actions influence us, affect us. We need acceptance, acknowledgement, and appreciation from the people we truly care about to feel happy. But when hit with a roadblock, a hardship or loss we tend to alienate ourselves from the very people, who mean the world to us.
The reason being we ourselves are unable to come to terms, or are trying to figure it out, or are ill equipped to speak about loss, pain, failure. We know how to share happiness but sadly we are not taught to share pain. Unlike happiness, it is to be internalised and kept within.
Now, how right is it? We need people to stay happy and if we shun them how are we supposed to come out of the abyss of pain. Agreed we need to give ourselves time but for how long. Honestly, when you are suffering, suffer some more and go out to be with people. The concern and care of some will overwhelm you, the gaffes of others will make you laugh, the irrationality of others will irritate you so much that it will give vent to your anger or frustration and help you feel better and most of all the needs of someone else will make you forget yourself and your need and make you stretch your hand to them to help.
There is a small population which is genuinely introverted but people, for most of us, are therapeutic. So, take in a good dose of people in your life and let happiness course through your veins.